On Sunday, my pastor spoke about the battleground of stepping out in faith and doing what God has called us to do. He said, “Don’t think the devil is going to make it easy for you. It is a battle. After the week I’ve had if you could see me in the spiritual realm, I have a bloody face and nose.” Oh boy, I am definitely in a battle.
I’ve said since shortly after the accident that the devil was doing all he could do to shut me up. You see, I knew that I was called to be the voice of our story. I knew that God was using me to share His goodness and grace with others. Our boys and their journey offered so many people hope in their own lives and situations. It was and continues to be up to me to make sure that I am listening to what God is leading me to share and having the faith to do it. I also knew then that the devil wasn’t going to make it easy for me.
Everytime God gives me a word to share, a part of me wonders what it will open the door to. There were times after the accident that I would share a miracle that happened knowing that my faith would be tested because of it. The devil would immediately swoop in and try to make me regret sharing it. I would be taunted spiritually and fear would set in. I would think, “What if I share this and I’m wrong? Maybe I should wait until a little time has passed and I am absolutely certain.” The truth was, God declared it and nothing the doctors would say would contradict His word. I had to learn to step out in faith, regardless of how others perceived it. It caused me to stand planted even more firmly in place on the word. I had to backup my faith with action, because so many people were watching me live it.
It isn’t always easy to do. There are times when I want to cry mercy, throw my hands up in the air and just shut my mouth. I think, “Maybe the devil will stop attacking my family.” It seems like we can’t catch a break. Everytime we think we are gaining ground we take two steps back. Do you know what that tells me? Our journey isn’t over. God still has plans for our family and it is going to be GREAT! The devil is losing, and he knows it! Otherwise, why would he be so busy throwing punches?
There is no doubt that I am in a spiritual battle. There is a devil and he is out to kill, steal and destroy. He wants to shut me up. He wants me to fall down in despair and lose faith. He doesn’t want me to share how great our God is. He wants people to only see the struggles our family has and still face. He wants people to question why our family is going through so many hardships if I have faith and God on my side. The devil wants people to ask, “If God was so great, why would He allow these things to keep happening in her family?” The answer is simple, I know the outcome. The devil loses and God wins. And as much as I am able, I will continue to shout His praises. I refuse to allow the devil to deceive people by using my family.
So when the T-G asked me to do an interview last week, I said absolutely and without hesitation. The more the devil attacks, the more I will praise Jesus publicly. The outcome of the current battle doesn’t concern me. I am looking towards my victory in the end. Yes, I am beat up and bloody, but I know who wins this war in the end. I know who has the victory… by the blood of Jesus, I do!
On the way to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital yesterday with Jackson, I thought about this blog post, which I hadn’t posted publicly yet. The devil was once again going on the offense and trying to scare me into keeping my mouth shut. “You sure you want to post that?” he taunted.
So what did I do? I posted it anyway!!! And guess what, Jackson is still smiling and after numerous tests the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with him! Why? Because God is good and through Him I can do ALL things! People tell me all the time that they don’t know how I’ve been able to stay strong through all of this. It has NEVER been my strength. It has always been Him, since that very first moment by the side of that road.
Love & blessings,